Tôi không bước thêm bước nào về phía cậu ấy nữa.
Không phải tôi sợ cậu ấy không thích lại tôi.
Mà tôi biết đến cuối cùng, cậu ấy sẽ buông tay tôi.
Hoặc là tôi sẽ chạy trốn, như tôi thường làm.
Tôi sẽ đứng lại để đợi, cho tình cảm không được phép này tan dần.
Rồi tôi sẽ lại ổn.
Trước đến giờ vốn dĩ đều như vậy mà.
"BUTTERFLY!!!!!! Ah, wait for me wait for me. Ah, urg, a little more, a little more..urg!"
The thing is: I’ve started to like someone else after 6 years.
I call him “a strange relationship of mine”
We’ve been friends for almost 3 years but I didn’t feel anything for him until lately.
I had once liked a person in the past but right after I acknowledged it, I felt guilty like I had cheated on “him”, like I was a betrayal so I gave up. I started to ignore that guy, I pretended that my phone had been broken and I was too busy.
But this time, it’s different. I don’t feel guilty. And it’s strange.
I have my own way to know whether I like somebody or not. Everynight when I’m about to sleep, I’ll close my eyes and see whom I will be thinking of the most.Lately, I keep thinking of that guy all the time. It’s really strange.
I’m the type who really LOVES staying at home. I HATE going out.
But I want to call him and we’ll meet up somewhere. I know I will talk like shit in front of him but I still want to meet him that bad.
I’m not me anymore. And it’s strange. And it scares me.
The thing is I get all this painful by myself. He doesn’t even know.
After some night, well, I have made up my mind.
I will not get any closer to him.
I will definitely make him hurt. It’s just matter of time.
I will definitely run away like I always do.
I will keep this strange feeling for myself only and wait for it to die gradually.
Finally, I will be fine. I definitely will. It’s just a matter of time